The Song Remains the Same
by rockinsurfer13
Summary: And if it came down to it, and all of of thing things he went through, the choices he made he wouldn't change a thing. 5. He's only ever had 5 weapons. None of them have been replaced and he never lets anyone but himself touch them.


**Disclaimer: ****Checks bank account***** Nope, I still don't own the Hobbit. **

** So guys this is my first foray into angst and is going to be slightly AU. Hope it makes you cry. Mwa-ha-ha-ha.**

**Warning! Brief mentions of suicide and suicidal thougths.**

**I have no idea where this came from, it just did. Sorry!**

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**10.**

He was only 10 minutes old, a newborn, when his mother dies due to the complications of his birth. There is barely life left in her body when they bundle him into her weakening arms, just enough time for her to name him and for his father to say goodbye.

Years later when he is old enough to understand what happened the night of his birth he starts to blame himself. All the years of absence and looks of sadness his father sends his when he thinks he isn't looking, they all make sense. He starts to believe his father doesn't care about him anymore, and it takes having said father to pry the knife he was going to use to kill himself out of his hands, and a shouting match the shouting match hat occurs afterward between the two of them to come to the understanding that his father does care, he just will never show it.

**9.**

He visit's his mothers' tomb 9 times. The first was because he needed to talk to someone that wouldn't talk back. The second to let it all out how he thinks his father hates him and that he never loved him. The third time he visited was to tell his mother that he finally managed to hit all the targets that were in the air. When he visited the fourth time he was blushing and stuttering, talking about his crush on the female guard, Tauriel. The fifth time he came around was to voice about the attempt to take his own life and how the only good thing to come out of that experience was that fact that his father shouting at him that he did love him. The sixth time he came down to the tombs was to vent on how paranoid his father was being.

The seventh time was when he almost got tricked into marriage, he raged that time-his anger broke the stone around him, the eighth when he came to talk in a quite yet controlled voice voicing his thoughts on the dwarves that they had captured and those who were now spending quality time in the dungeons. The last was to say he was going after Tauriel and the dwarves and to also say good-bye.

**8.**

There are only eight times in his life he can really remember his father showing great affection to him. The one time that especially stands out to him was when he was a very young elfling and had tried to climb onto his fathers lap on the throne. His father had laughed a rich deep baritone laugh then he picked him up and set him on his lap. Then he had placed his crown of antlers on his young head. What makes it stand out so much in his mind is the look of pure love in his fathers' eyes during that moment, but it didn't last. The next day his fathers' eyes were devoid of all feeling. He wonders how things could change so much, so fast. He hopes it never happens to him.

**7.**

He has seven scars on his body. The most prominent is the ugly rope looking one that starts on the edge of his shoulder and end on the opposite hip. It was given to him courtesy of the leader of an Orc raiding party. If his mentor had not started fighting the Leader the sword would have cut his spinal cord. The thin line on the inside of his left wrist came from a sparring session with Tauriel. It is one of the two scars he has in which he recalls the event with fondness.

The oldest one is a faded burn on his right pinky, he was trying to nab food from the kitchen, he does recall it with fondness because he was young and it really did hurt! The newest and not yet completely healed one that resides on his collar bone came from a spider. It had hooked one of its pinchers into his skin while he was trying to evade it. He has a small silver slit on the outside of his left pinky from where he and Arwen made a blood-oath to never turn into someone they are not when they were children. It is the last of the scars he recalls with fondness.

The sixth one comes in the form of small hole in is shoulder, made from the end of the dagger, his father threw it at Celebryn when the elf refused to execute a Noldorin elf they found trespassing, and he jumped in front of it. If he hadn't his mentor would have had a dagger in the heart. The last one is one that only he knows about. A line on his ankle, it was supposed to make the hurt go away, but it didn't, so he covered it up and never let anyone see it.

**6.**

6 decades after his last leaving of Mirkwood, he is called upon by Gandalf the Grey to go on a quest to stop Sauron and the destruction of Middle-Earth. He goes because he knows it is his duty, because he was asked. Though when he's not lying to himself he acknowledges the fact that he complies because he just wants to feel alive again, to burn again. After the battle of the Five Armies he resigned himself to the knowledge that the only way he would ever leave Mirkwood again would be for official duties and knowing this caused his spirit to die a little bit more each day. Now there is another great battle approaching, he feels it in the wind and trees-sees it in the stars and in the dirt. And the sickly spirit is now whole and alive and free and burning once again.

**5.**

He's only ever had 5 weapons. None of them have been replaced and he never lets anyone but himself touch them. His most prized weapon is a pair of dual blades that were given to him by his father as per tradition. He knows that if he could his father would forget about his existence, but traditions must be upheld, so he is given the weapons that will keep him alive in a fight on the eve of his 750th birthday.

The most used extension of his body is by far the bow and arrows. He is a champion marksman and is always out in the range. It's not for practice though, it's for the peace and serenity that comes with the repetitiveness of draw, aim, breathe, release. The fact that he is extremely deadly with it is just a perk. His secret weapon that very few know about is the dagger in his left boot. He's only had to use it a few times, but the small piece of steel that he made on his own has saved his life when things have gotten particularly harrowing.

His favorite weapon also has sentimental value to him. All sons are given a gift by their father's the day the father feels his offspring has completed training. Since Celebryn didn't have a son, and at sometimes it seemed that he did not have a father, he gave him an Elven blade the day he completed his training. It was narrow, the scabbard was meant to be worn strapped to the, with a very unusual design, but to him it is perfect. It becomes his favorite weapon the moment he takes it in his hands. It is the only thing he has left of his mentor.

**4.**

The first time he is officially allowed into the forest he and his guards are immediately attacked by the spiders. Even though it's officially his first time out he kills 4 of the evil creatures. There is dirt in his hair and his weapon is covered in blood and he is naïve and thinks that this little excursion was fun. The guards commend him on his talent and the Head of his guard -Celebryn- pats him on the back, a gesture one would give a son. His own father calls him to the royal chambers when they arrive back and berates him for fighting like he is just a common Silvan Elf. His reply back to his father is scathing but he is just so angry. He strides back out to the woods alone with no back-up and kills 40 more.

**3.**

The three hobbits are a mystery to him. He knows that Frodo is a relative of Bilbo, he knows that they can't fight, he knows why their eyes look dead, for whose eyes wouldn't be dead at the lose of innocence and a friend. He feels sorry for them, because in the short time he knew him, he grew to like Samwise Gamgee, and now he dead by a Nazguls' blade. But the mystery to him is the question of how they can still have hope. Even after Boromir was killed, even after Samwise was tortured and murdered, even after Gimli was slaughtered in the halls of his ancestors. How can those three hobbits still hope?

**2.**

He's only been beaten in a fight twice. Once was when he and Tauriel were the final two fighters in a competition and once against an army of Orcs. When he went up against his captain of the guard he knew he would lose. She was burning to brightly to lose today, even if he pulled out all his tricks, even if he cheated, he knew he would not beat her that day. The second time was entirely his own fault. For how can one Elf , even with men on his side and the dwarves fighting the Orcs on another, stand up an army. He knew deep down, he would not survive that day.

**1.**

He can feel his own blood, sticky and warm, seeping through the wound on his stomach that his hand covering. His eyes look up to the stars, blurry as they might be, he can still see them clean wind of open expanses is whistling through his ears.. He can feel himself slipping and knows that he doesn't have much time left. Aragorn is there the next moment, his friends hands covering the deep gash that has torn open his abdomen, pleading with him to stay, that Frodo has destroyed the ring, The battle os over, that Arwen will be devastated if he dies, and that it won't be the same if he is not there with them in the end, but he knows that he is to far gone. He knows his time is up. Middle-Earth is safe. He does need to stay any longer. No need fro him to be trapped again. He is not sure, but he thinks he crying, Aragorn had tear tracks down his face. The world around him his getting darker, the wind louder, the star dimmer, but he is at peace.

Legolas only has one life and he is content knowing that he will die this way. With his friend by his side and the wind in his ears.

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**Whoa. That was intense. Whoa. So I'm going to tell you now I have now idea where something like that came from, it just happened. If you guys feel it was to much just tell me, As always constructive criticism and reviews are welcome.**

**Now I'm going to go do some therapy. Just kidding, I'm going to go rip my heart out by watching Merlin! Bye!**


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